Missing Mom

Originally Posted 6/28/07
Today was my Mom's birthday. She would have been 68 today. Man, I really miss her, even though she's been gone almost 11 years.
I wonder a lot of times what she would think about me now. I was pregnant with Hannah when she died, and still such a brat. Not that I'm perfect now, but no one really grows up until they have children of their own. I was so self-absorbed then, and immature. Of course, a lot of the growing I did was because of her death, so who knows.
I hope she would be proud of me. I know she would love the kids. She was so looking forward to being a grandma. She would have been a great grandma, and the kids would have learned a lot from her.
Sometimes now I have trouble remembering her voice, and that bothers me. I can still remember her hands. I remember sitting on her lap with my head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat. I remember her making biscuits, and reading, and I remember her smile.
A lot of things have happened since her death that would have made her sad as well. Since there are no tears in Heaven, maybe God only allows you to see things that would make you happy. I hope that's true. I would love to think that she could look down and see her precious grandbabies, and see how happy Brandon & I are together.
Mom, I hope you look down on our little family, and I hope you are proud. I love you, and I'll miss you always.